Tag: Respect

Respect Should Be For Men As Well

I am all for feminism, at a certain degree. I believe in women being able to stand in an equal ground with man. I believe in women having the freedom to do anything as much as men do. It’s a guilty pleasure to see women in a successful, strong, overpowering position.

However, I need to draw the line in where I hate to see women degrading men in doing so. The reason why I brought this topic up at all is because I see couples around me in which the women feel it is okay to degrade men, both in public and in social media. The moment I decided I want to become a wife, I always believed the proper manner I need to act as a soulmate is to first and foremost respect my other half. If I am dissatisfied or unhappy, it will be something to discuss behind closed doors and not for everyone to see.

If my husband has a flaw, it will be something that he and I fix together.

So it surprised me when I found out not all women feel this way. I find certain girls badmouthing their partners on social media, to their friends, humiliating their partners’ pride in the process. I was too curious to let it go despite it not being my business. I approached a friend of mine, male, and asked him if he knew all the things his partner writes online about him.

“Yeah, but I stopped caring about it.”

The other day, a friend also said, “If she’s angry with me, she usually calls me nasty names.”

I was baffled, “And you let her?”

He shrugged, showing indifference.

It broke my heart that males have come to accept these treatments. They weren’t supposed to be okay. Girlfriend or not, they should feel obliged to stand up for themselves. Just like how abusing women is wrong, the same need to be said about men. To me, it wasn’t about gender anymore. Degrading someone was generally wrong and supposed to be looked upon.

So maybe the renaissance era isn’t too bad now, considering the ladies in that time respected their husbands to the fullest.

Here’s to respect

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Salute, from Me to You

Let’s face it, we’re all heroes.

Everyone in this world will always have the chance to become an unsung hero. No matter how small or big, everything you contribute to others will always leave you one step better hero than others. In fact, everyone is unsung heroes if you would just open your eyes and see how much sacrifice people have made for others, like for once, a teacher.

Teaching is an honorable job, you take it or leave it that way. There’s no really much of an argument for that. The moment they send in an application to be a teacher, that’s when they deserve every honor they can possibly get.

You see, there’s this kind of teacher who loves to hang out with students but never teach. There’s also another kind of teacher who the students love, but never really cared much about the students very much. Oh, and of course there will always be that one teacher you hate no matter for what reason.

I know a teacher, let’s say the teacher is a she.

This teacher I know seems to get the hate for all the wrong reason. “She teaches too fast,” or “She always gives homework,” or “She gives too many exercise.”

Now, I wouldn’t be writing this blogpost if I hated her. In fact, I admire her as a whole person. You see, there’s no many teacher out there who’s passionate about their students. You can go ahead and see how many teachers out there who actually give damn about their students’ future.

So I sat down one day in her class as I wrote down my notes exactly in the two minutes she gave us to copy down her slide. The class was noisy, students were chatting everywhere, and only a handful of them actually cared for the teacher’s feelings.

She told us to be quiet plenty times already, and being the teenager that we are, it was in our nature to do exactly what she told us not to do. It was a wonder why she waited so long to finally lose her cool. She must have been so aware of the students’ annoyance that she felt like she needed to speak up.

These are the words that I remembered to write down as fast and subtle as I could as she let out everything at once (I would have written it all, but I couldn’t risk being found out):

“Be quiet! It’s up to you to not like me. But teaching is my passion, and not only it is my profession, you are also my responsibility here! This is all for your own good, and I understand that I can’t force you to like me. So please, let me do my job professionally. For those of you that really can’t bother, please at least be silent for your friend’s sake. I don’t want to waste my time here.”

She said it with more passion than I’m sure I’ve written above, but I managed to get the point.

The class was stunned for a while, and most of the students chose to shut their mouth for the rest of the class. The little speech she gave only spread more fire in the ignorance’s hearts, but it was stuck in my head. That was honestly the first time I ever heard a teacher saying it was okay to not like them. She said it, if she really needed to be disliked by her students, it was fine as long as she could keep her responsibility, and to be honest, that’s amazing to me.

If you ask me, I don’t think she deserves the eye roll and the whine. If anybody deserved a trophy, she’s the one. Lots of teachers must have given a speech or two in classes when they get too noisy, and they’ll always say the same thing: “You’re in high school now, it’s time for you to grow up.”

It’ll be our fault, case closed.

But with her, it’s a bit different. To her, it’s about, “Let me teach, this is what I want to do. I know there are kinds of teachers who come in late and barely give a damn, and I can be that teacher. Difference is, I don’t want to be that kind of teacher. Teaching is my dream.

There are many kinds of unsung heroes out there, and if you ask me to name one, it’ll be her and every other teacher who teaches because they love it with their whole heart. It’ll be them whose passion is to see our success. It’ll be them whose dream is to see us reach ours.

So here’s to you.

Salute, from me to you.

www.dphchallange.com

Solitude Over Solidarity

There’s a fine line between solitude and loneliness

I was reading a fanfiction one day and I stumbled upon a quote similar to the one I wrote above. Things that happened for the past few days reminded me of the quote, and how strongly I feel about it. Sometimes I like to think that I stand on the solitude side. Not only does it sounds stronger and more powerful, solitude is a choice, while loneliness isn’t. With solitude, you choose to leave the worthless baggage where they stand to start a new path on your own. While with loneliness, even the worthless baggage see it as a burden to walk with you.

I used to care so much of what people think, because in all honesty, as much as you don’t want to admit it, people do define where you stand. Without the respect of the people around you, it’s hard to survive. So I laid low in the back and let the flow adjust my course, while believing people will be there for you if you’re there for them. Solidarity, is what I used to believe from years of watching animes and dramas, thinking it can actually happen in real life.

With solidarity, you move together and take actions together with your crowd. You step forward with your loved ones, hand in hand, firm, strong. You stand up for your leader and take blame on behalf of everyone together instead of letting a lone soldier take full responsibility for the fault of hundreds man.

Bullshit.

That’s the only way I can describe solidarity. To me, solidarity is a way to be hide, to be save. A way to not take blame because you step forward and do faults together, making it hard to put blame to a sole person alone. Solidarity means you have to make sure your mindset is uniform with your significant hundreds of others, leaving no room for opinion. Solidarity, in the end, becomes a place to hide for those who fear to step forward and express their thoughts alone. People lean on solidarity to make sure they are doing the right thing, with no faith and trust in themselves. With solidarity, you and the hundred others only share that tiny fraction amount of courage. Because you fear together, you lose courage together, and don’t have enough trust to actually believe that you can rise together.

What happens with solidarity then, when you stand still with fear creeping your whole nerve, while your leaders take blame on your behalf?

They turn to dust, I’m telling you. Gone.

And so I turn course and stand on my ground. Solitude, is my choice. My respect and loyalty is mainly to my leaders. Because I refuse to stay still with crowds whose courage are shared, whose flame ignites just as fast as it disappears. I refuse to be dragged by in a society where I have to stand back when the people I respect have to take blame for me, when it was my fault. I refuse, to be defined by a society whose thoughts are clouded.

And in the end, if I have to be solid with anyone, I choose to share that solidarity with other lone soldiers who have guts and courage, who truly care for their loved ones, who are brave enough to break down their wall of fear and doubts to stand up together, for what is right.

And I’m asking you—you know who you are—to prove my solidarity wrong.

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