Tag: Husband

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Wanted: Chosen One

Last March on the 20th, for some of you who kept up-to-date with this half-abandoned website (do forgive me for that, Senior year had been c-r-a-z-y), I wrote out a list on the perfect husband that I wish to marry someday in the near future. Come 2017, with heart even more dead set on getting married, I realized the ridiculousness of the list that I’ve written before and decided to give it a retouch. Please understand that this list is written simply to humor my cravings and this doesn’t determine anything. At all.

Also, shout out to the newly wed Natta and Wardah Maulina, a couple goals that made me pray day and night to meet the one man that has been written in my destiny.

Without further adieu, the list:

 

  1. Religious Beliefs: A practicing, critical, curious, tolerant, and passionate Muslim.
  2. In four words: Leader, responsible, honest, adventurous.
  3. Relationship type: Believe in monogamy 100%
  4. Sunday nights are for: Trying new couple activities (Scrapbook, cooking, rock climbing, yoga, ticking out bucket lists)
  5. Foreign or domestic: Foreign is very much preferable for their open-mind, though a domestic is also acceptable. Open-mind being the key.
  6. Ideal age: No older than 25.
  7. Perfect date: Adventure to new places and learn new experiences.
  8. Body type: Anything, as long as healthy. Disability and scars also don’t scare me, I’m willing to learn.
  9. Expert or Generalist: Expert in what he does.
  10. Beach house or country house: I wrote country house last year. Now that I’ve gotten more appreciative of the sunlight, whichever’s fine.
  11. Mommy issues: No, absolutely not. He must love his mother.
  12. Dietary restriction: Doesn’t eat anything that’s forbidden in Islam.
  13. Wants kids? Yes, and I hope to marry someone who’s willing to adopt. I’ve come to learn that there are far too many children who deserve a home. I also wish for my first child to be the adopted child so he can feel more included into the family (This topic is up for discussion).
  14. Does he cook? He has to be willing to try and cook with me on weekends.
  15. Drinking habits? No alcohol.
  16. Cats or Dogs? Cats, though only because religious reasons. If he wants to appreciate pugs or huskies or golden retrievers, that is completely acceptable.
  17. Inked? As long as he’s asked for His forgiveness, I’ll bat a blind eye on past mistakes and regrets.
  18. Sarcastic? The funnier the better, as long as it’s humorous and positive
  19. Who’s prettier? He can be prettier.
  20. He shouldn’t be: A pessimist cynic.
  21. Confidence from 1-10? 11
  22. Chivalry is…? A must!
  23. Man? Woman? Either? Man. Still man.
  24. Likes your job? Yes, he must support my job and dream to the fullest.
  25. Has he ever cheated? As long as he’s a changed man, it’s tolerable.
  26. His turns on: Confidence and big heart.
  27. Takes charge or takes orders? I’d love for him to take charge, though I wish for him to treat me on the basis of mutual respect and equity.
  28. Furry or smooth? Facial hair, yes. Chest hair, no. Legs or arms, sure.
  29. Times for work? As long as he’s free on weekends and makes time for me.
  30. No shorter than: Me
  31. Selfies: Not so much on his own, but taking lots are nice if with family or friends.
  32. Hair style: Either short or long, messy mid-length hair is a meh. If he can rock a man bun, yes.
  33. Multi-lingual: Yes, especially English. Definitely English.
  34. Views: Open-minded.
  35. Credits? Good, he must crave knowledge and be well educated. It shows that he is serious and understands about wanting to make a good life for his own by working hard to achieve good things
  36. Night owl or early bird? Doesn’t matter as long as he wakes me up for Fajr and sleeps after Isha.
  37. What’s his style? Clean, acceptable for social events, and wear clothes that is actually his size.
  38. Hobbies? Anything is fine, but writing, reading, or outdoor activity is much more preferable (running, hiking, et cetera). If he likes playing with trinkets or a handy man, that’s a bonus for me.
  39. First weekend away? Outbond, definitely.
  40. Degree? Let’s work together towards PhD before 30.
  41. Clean or Messy? Clean and organized.
  42. Politics? Gets the hang of it.
  43. He should…? Be open-minded. This is the n-th time I’ve written this. He should be open-minded without straying his views on the rules that’s written in Islam.
  44. Sport? He sweats regularly and is willing to go for a run on holidays or weekends.
  45. Art? Can appreciate art, creativity, and musical theater.
  46. Job? Anything that he loves doing instead of being forced into doing. Also, anything that pay the bills.
  47. Family matters? I’d love to marry someone who has a large family that I can get to know, but I’m not very picky on the matter.
  48. No-no #1? Not religious.
  49. No-no #2? Restricting me from my education, job, and right.
  50. No-no #3? A pessimist who doesn’t have a dream. Dreaming big is attractive, and him working to make his dream come true is even more attractive.

I try to broaden my views on the matter of husband. Allah will not meet me a husband if He deems I’m not ready, and I’m trying at the moment. I know the chances of a 17 year old nobody who just came out of highschool with no clear knowledge on her future meeting her soulmate is very slim, but I really do wish to form a Halal relationship with someone He’s chosen for me.

At the end of the day, only Istikharah prayer will help me decided who’s right and who’s not, so the list won’t matter much. Right now I’m just hoping to get through the National Exam, Prom, Graduation Day, and then get accepted to university with a decent scholarship so I can be financially independent in case I do get married.

I’ll tell you how it turns out later on.

Here’s to he who’s name’s been written in my fate

Criteria: Leader

If someone ask me why I’m a Muslim in the first place, my answer would be pretty simple.

It’s just that I simply don’t know how it feels like to not be a Muslim.

My life is pretty simple, you see. If God says no alcohol, then I don’t taste alcohol. If He warns me against adultery, then I’ll avoid it at all cost. If He tells me to cover my skin, then that’s exactly what I’ll do. My dos and don’ts list are pretty simple that way, and so I don’t really understand why it’s hard for some people to see.

But then I suppose it’s the other way round, in which people don’t know how to not be the way they are as well.

You see, there are times when I just want to cry my eyes out and curl while listening to Cold Play’s The Scientist.  Nobody said it was easy, is pretty much how I can define being a Muslim. Now before any of you jump into conclusion and think I feel oppressed, then please just cut the crap. I don’t feel oppressed. You know what make things hard? It’s the judgmental and small minded environment. If I go to a good Islamic school, I probably won’t feel this way at all. But alas, I am where I am, and it’s always so heart-breaking to see young Muslim not care one bit about God.

Maybe if they were given the choice, they’d choose not to embrace Islam at all.

This is the part where it all comes down to a conclusion, and that is I desperately need someone who can convince me to just ignore them and be proud of who I am with my religion. I am the person that I am today because of my religion, and maybe it doesn’t make me the coolest person at school, but at least it makes me me.

Don’t take me wrong, I am a proud Muslim. But I’m sure you all know it’s not the easiest thing in life to obey a being that you can’t see. I guess I’m waiting for my prince charming to make me see and embrace the beauty of Islam. If there’s one thing I’m really looking for from a husband (besides his faith and religious activity), it is most definitely a leader figure. A leader that I follow not because I have to, but because I want to. A leader that can guide me straight to His grace. A leader who can see that I am struggling and makes it his personal mission to make me believe I am making the right choices.

And I can imagine him, sitting right across the room, singing as best as he can,

if you let me
I can help you out
with all of that

let me love you
I know your trouble
don’t be afraid
oh, I can help

And everything will be okay again after that.

So hey, said leader. Your damsel in distress awaits. Do get here quick, it’s a pretty rough life out here.

islamic-man-performing-sajdah

Picking the One

I spent 2015 thinking I could forget about love and chemistry and just find someone, anyone, to be my future husband. He could be five years older or two years younger, as long as he was ready for marriage, I didn’t care.

It was easier to think about marriage without doubts when you don’t care about the whole equation and just focus on the results.

Then we hit 2016, and uncertainty started crawling their ways through my current stone-cold heart.

Aside from religious, what if he’s not witty enough? What if he can’t understand how I think and see the world? What if he can’t follow my jokes and laugh at scandalous idioms? What if he’s shy and won’t be willing to make memorable vlogs of our marriage together? Oh–What if he can’t speak English?

The thoughts are never-ending, twisted things. It’s like sinking deeper and deeper into a never-ending ocean without finding ways of coming up for air.

It’s January 2016 and I’m horrified at the idea of finding the wrong one. Funny thing about love is you know exactly what you don’t want but have no single clue of what you want. It’s a cycle of let’s try and see if we click, and sometimes two are just not meant to click.

And gone is now the thoughts of anybody as thoughts of somebody specific reappears. Thoughts of man I crossed out from the calculation for being too distant and non existent–

–Oh, and there’s also thought of one other man too, smart enough to joke and have fun with, who is currently laying in hospital for being sick. If only that man is capable of English–

–and willing.

Look how pathetic I’m being.

I suppose even I can’t just say  yes to anybody breathing Islam. I just wish people who do aren’t so primitive and stuck in a different era completely.

Here’s to looking and finding.

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