Tag: Freak

The Freak Told A Story

I don’t have any defense, I simply got curious and I took the shot

Warning: The labeling written below is simply an example of how teenage society is seen by majority, and there is by no means meant to offend anyone.

Freak: Creating a separation between, let’s call it, the popular and the non-popular, let’s face it, it’s stupid.

Me: It is stupid, but we’re in High School. Do you not care about being popular, just like everybody else?

Freak: No!

Me: But it gives you advantage, people see you different then.

Freak: Being different, yes, but really, all I think in other people is honesty. If they truly want to be friends with me, then that’s what I want. But if I’m popular and I have to be fake, and I have to do what they tell me to do, well, forget it. I will gladly be a freak for all my life.

Me: Because you just want to be honest and be yourself.

Freak: Yeah.

Me: That’s not what I did. I’m just like you, and I even went to the festivals, always did. But then I got here, and I know that people like that are not accepted by society, and so I left that life just for the sake of being accepted.

Freak: And how do you feel being popular?

Me: It gives more advantage. I know how fake people have to become, and that’s why I think people like you are amazing because you’re strong enough to accept it. You’re brave enough to be yourself. Even though people don’t look at you that way, I think you’re amazing because you have that courage that I don’t. And maybe they’re shallow, and maybe I am as well, but some people really do just want to get through High School.

Freak: Okay, but the thing is, the reality is, those fake friends will leave you. Friendship that comes from taking advantages from one another, that’s not friendship. That’s just going to lead you to a circle of advantage giving, back and forth.

Me: But do you not feel lonely, at school?

Freak: Of course sometimes I feel lonely, but loneliness is not the worst thing in the world.

Me: In our school, they teach us about solidarity. Do you not care for us, your batch?

Freak: I do care for solidarity, but when this solidarity turns and it just correlates into other things such as bullying or violence, or let’s say High School hierarchy, then I think it’s not solidarity. I think solidarity is about helping one another and accepting one another.

Me: I’ve seen you from day one. You didn’t get your head shaven.

Freak: Yes.

Me: Why?

Freak: Because my mother taught me that if you think you’re right, then you have to perceive your perspective in many ways first. Then if you think you’re really right, then do as your heart tell you, and then when I came first to this school, they threatened me constantly about my hair, and I was like, no. I like my hair this way, and I’m not going to–

Me: But hair grows back.

Freak: I know, but I will not cut it off for the sake of others. Eventually I did cut it off, but it’s for my batch, not for other people that threatens me. I will cut my hair by my own, and I did, with scissors, by my own.

Me: Why did you do that?

Freak: It gives me control of myself. I’m not going to let anybody take control of me.

Me: You do realize that no one wants to shave their head off, right? It’s only because of the formality. People think hair grows back, it’s not that big of a deal.

Freak: To me, it is. For some reason, using jacket at school, using sweaters, having long hair. It’s probably because I’m insecure about being social, being open.

Me: No one should be.

Freak: Yes, but I feel comfortable in this situation. It’s about being honest with yourself for what do you like, for what do you want, and not for what other people want. People threatening someone is not okay.

Me: Have you ever got beaten?

Freak: No, but I’ve been touched.

Me: Touched, as in molest?

Freak: Yes.

Me: People–No, wait, let’s not talk about people. Let’s talk about what I think.

Freak: Yes.

Me: I’ve seen you from day one, and I’ve always gotten the impression that you are like Kurt Hummel. You remind me of him.

Freak: You mean, G?

Me: I don’t have any problem with that, I’ve had friends who came out to me, and I couldn’t care less. This is my life, and your life is your choice. I just want to know what you think about yourself.

Freak: You do know that it’s rude when you just meet people and you ask about their sexuality, right?

Me: Yeah. I’m just curious.

Freak: I think it’s rude when you judge people by how they move or how they talk. You’re supposed to judge people by knowing them.

Me: So you’re not confirming nor denying anything.

Freak: I’m not confirming nor denying anything, for now.

Me: So despite all the bullying, despite all the people talking bad things behind your back, are you happy with how things are right now?

Freak: Well, it will be a lie if I said I’m a hundred percent happy. I’m just going to say that happiness and sadness is a constantly changing thing.

Me: But generally?

Freak: Generally. Generally, I’m fine with myself.

Me: I see you as someone who’s going to get out of this country leave behind all the stupid mess and bullshit and be with whoever you want to be.

Freak: I’m realistic, but yes, that’s what I want.

Me: Let’s talk about your friend, that one guy that brought the batch into a war. He never came back to school, did he?

Freak: He moved away.

Me: Let’s be honest, I don’t appreciate two of my friends having to get kicked out of school because of a silly prank. And I understand that they’re wrong for what they did, and I understand that your friend is a victim. I can tell what’s right and wrong, but at this point, I think it’s too ridiculous, because even you and your friends are being threatened because of this one incident, and I don’t think it’s fair for all of you.

Freak: Well–

Me: Let me finish. Listen, a whole batch, three quarter of us cried for those two guys, myself included, because they were my friends. I knew that they were wrong and that they had to face the consequences of their actions, but, at the end of the day, I don’t think it solves anything. You become the next target instead.

Freak: Yes.

Me: What do you think about us crying for the bully and hating on the victim?

Freak: It’s the society here.

Me: It’s our society.

Freak: I didn’t agree with the school kicking them out, but the victim needed to speak about it to someone.

Me: I understand. So you think he did the right thing?

Freak: He did the right thing, but it doesn’t have to be this way. I guess what teenager today need to understand is that sometimes a joke can get a little bit too far and hurt people.

Me: You do understand that society doesn’t like your kind of people? I don’t mean to be rude, but you know how society label you as freak. Are you fine with that?

Freak: I would rather die than lie to myself about… well, myself. Just like you said, that’s their life, their way of life. This is my life.

Me: Are you proud of who you are?

Freak: I am proud of who I am.

Me: Then that’s fine. Thank you.

 

 

 

Let’s Pretend I’m Not A Freak

Hey, I’m a high school student, and people here label names to everybody. Since I still want to have friends and be accepted by the social community, let’s pretend I’m not  a freak.

When you’re in a place where people are so judgmental, it is hard to be who you really are in the fear of being mocked and avoided by those you want to be friends with. So you talk about shoe brand and fancy hang out restaurant’s name, you talk about boys, and you gossip about who’s dating who and who’s being beaten up by who.

Really, it’s not that hard to blend it with society if you’re willing to hide the secrets of who you really are.

So you stopped talking about your favorite anime, and you delete all Japanese songs from your phone in case they check. You delete pictures of your favorite characters from your phone and you let your tongue mock the freak at school.

All just to be accepted.

You look down on the freak society, glare at them when they let themselves laugh too loud, and you ignore their existence — all while being a closeted freak as well. They are good people, you assure yourself. They’re not wrong for liking certain Animes and being able to draw good. They just chose wrong to expose their preference in High School society, you tell yourself.

But really, the truth says it all, and you know they are a thousand times braver than you’ll ever will be for being who they are and not being afraid of it. All that matters to them is how they are accepted by their real friends who’ll never speak behind their back, and I applaud them for that.

But at the end of the day, they’re avoided by society and being called foul names.

So let’s pretend I’m not a freak.

In response to: Game of Groans

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