Tag: Dream

Intelligence: Overrated Thing

Intelligence is overrated.

People think those who succeed in life are born geniuses. Let me tell you, no. If anything, you can tell me the exact same thing. Everyone started out the same, exact way when they were born into the world.

To be intelligent, first we must learn. Some started early, some much later. Some taught by private tutor, parents, and some had to be self-taught.

To learn, first one has to crave for education. When we live an easy life where education is given, we tend to take it for granted. More often than not, we start to see words and numbers as chores. This is where we drop.

Some of us understand the importance of it. Some of us understand how lucky we are to be able to eat and drink education. This makes us sit in class in silence. We take notes accordingly and ask questions when we don’t understand. Education become our first priority, and we understand the amount of money our parents spend for our studies.

We value, and the appreciation fruits succession.

Lastly, we need to dream.

When we crave so much in life, we will find a strong link between between our goals and the things we learn. This becomes the trigger to our succession, pushing us to work hard until the end.

No one is intelligent from point zero.

Some people simply understand, value, and dream.

And some people, they simply take it all for granted.

Another Try

I’m probably a bit late to write again, but give me another try at writing which resolutions I’ve accomplished last year.

Today, my guidance counselor teacher handed out our 2015 resolution that we wrote last January. I forgot that I had written anything at all, and I took a proper look at it to see what I actually wrote last year.

  • Join more competitions and win
  • Raise my grade
  • Fall in love
  • Continue in student council as a secretary
  • Publish more stories, at least once a month
  • Have a 50 cm waist size
  • Run more outside of school schedule
  • Publish a blog post at least once a month
  • Having the event called RTO held in success
  • Read the Quran at least a page a day
  • More polite to the teachers
  • Eat more vegetable, less meat
  • Can see my brother off to Japan
  • Save Rp50.000 per month
  • Reach top three in my batch
  • Get taller
  • Able to drive

The things that I typed in bold are the things I failed to accomplish. But still, to be honest, I was quite happy with what I managed to scrape of last year.

Today, of course, my teacher asked us to write another resolutions for 2016, and here are what I wrote:

  • Can be there to run 17 km in August
  • High SAT scores
  • Find a life partner
  • Do the midnight prayer at least once a month
  • Do successful projects with other 44 lovely human beings
  • Paper done on time [Alternative Energy of Electricity]
  • Be more mature
  • Reach top three in my batch
  • Finish the Quran during Ramadhan
  • Fast every Monday and Thursday
  • Save up Rp20.000 per month
  • Read the Quran at least page a day
  • Open up an Artbook store
  • Minimum IELTS score of 7.5
  • Be more kind to certain people.
  • Able to drive
  • Publish 70 blog posts

Look at that, some things changed, some things not. I’ll tell you how things go next year, and cheers to dreams and unlikely goals!

In response to Resolved

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.

-Michael Jordan

When I Found Out It’s Not Our Job as Women to Dream


Living today in this era where women are glorified honestly hallucinates me into thinking that women actually has the chance to go as big as men do. It’s all out there, with Emma Watson demanding for equality with He for She campaign, and take a look at Ellen DeGeneres! She’s a strong, working woman who has it all. So I thought, what makes women different with men in terms of dreaming big to be on top?

Inside this hallucination I lived in, I damn well forgot one crucial thing.

I wouldn’t have remembered what it was if my mother didn’t sit me down after dinner last night. Like always, I expected a normal chit chat about homework, friends, boys, and et cetera, and it was a nice conversation for a while.

She said, “So I looked up in the internet about the jobs that you can get if you want to take either International Law or International Relation in university later.”

I was a sophomore, this was a regular topic. She always reminded me that I need to decide early of what I want to do in the future once I graduated High School.

I nodded, telling her to keep going.

She continued, “You see, you can’t be a major player in the business since you’re not going to be able to travel around.”

I processed the sentence.

So she was assuming I wasn’t planning to spend my youth helping people around the world and make difference.  That wasn’t the plan. I honestly did plan on traveling my ass off, go wherever I was needed, and leave my family behind for good causes. Once I’m done with helping the hungry children, I’ll come back home to my awaiting family and husband and spend time with them until I’m assigned to go to other place.

So I asked her, “What if I choose to become a major player?”

She considered it. “I thought you said you wanted to settle down early?”

That was when it hit me.

I didn’t need her to explain how it won’t work out between raising children and chasing my dream. It was apparent I had to choose either one. It was like two different path laid out ahead of me, and I felt so angry so suddenly at once. I didn’t want to get to the point where I feel absolute hate to the fate that was chosen for me, but it was still irritating nonetheless.

I have always wanted to raise children early. Hell, my timeline says I need to get married at twenty if I wanted to have a child by twenty one. What I forgot was, I also had a different timeline that says I was to graduate university with top marks at twenty, have a job contract with a big organization that works for good cause right after, and then I wait for the next term to start my Master degree.

So I didn’t need her to tell me how overwhelming things can get if I was so determined on having it all, except…

“Well, why don’t I marry a guy who works for the same cause as I do? That way, I get to be in the same region as him if we were to be assigned outside the country. A diplomat once came into my school and told me about this, he said married couples would be arranged in places that are not very far from one another,” I informed her. That’s must be a good plan.

She nodded, but I knew I was fighting a losing battle against my mother. She always has a rebuttal prepared. “That’s only works if you get a good guy from that department who wants to marry you under that condition. But what if he’s an architect or some big company’s manager?”

What she said was the truth. I didn’t like it, but I know what is right when I hear it. It irked me so much to the point I could’ve cried that night. I am a woman. I was to be a mother one day, and looking for income would not be my main responsibility. My children would be what I have to focus on 24/7.

So where’s my dream going to go with that knowledge in mind?

It pained me so much. I’ve always wanted to get out there, help the suffering people, make speeches, and inspire people with my words. Despite what I am capable of, I’ve always wanted to work for the people and not sitting flat on my bum in front of a computer in some company.

How am I supposed to do that if I want to have children?

I considered waiting, but even that only lasted for five minutes. Who in their right mind would want to marry an old lady in their thirties? No, cross that thought.

At the end of the day, I didn’t reach any conclusion. I wasn’t willing to throw my dreams away and look for some other job that I won’t be interested with. The thought of not doing anything and completely depending on my husband in the favor of looking after my children was unfavorable in every way, but I wasn’t also going to have my children and husband move to different places every three or four years.

“Be realistic,” is what my mother told me. “Your responsibility is not to work, you have a husband for that. Your job as a woman is to look after the children you’re going to have one day.”

I understood that, but what I also hear from the sentence was, “You have a whole life written out for you. It’s not your job as a woman to dream.”

I understood that alright.

Still, I didn’t like it one bit.

To all working mothers out there, raise your glass. I aspire to be you.


Bucket List: Theater

As a dreamer who’s longing for a great adventure in the future, I decided to start writing my bucket list instead of just keeping it as a secret in the deepest corner of my brain. Perhaps by writing them and posting them online, I would be more encouraged to actually do something worthwhile with my life and make my dreams come true.

Of course it is not so that my parents would spare me some pity and make them come true for me, no, sir.

And I start this bucket list by writing the one thing that gives me this burning passion to make it happen no matter what happens. No, it isn’t performing in a play or musical as a professional stage actor. That would be something I have to give up on since I lack both the talent and the passion. It’s something a lot simpler, which is sitting myself through a two to three hours stage musical in West End or Broadway. As a human who lives in Asia, there isn’t much theater around, let alone musical. No, the country is not as creative or as appreciative of art as the western does.

I was first introduced to a musical by something as silly as Disney Movie, which are High School Musical and Camp Rock, which then led to a love for a musical TV Show, Glee. From Glee, I started see bit by bit of the beauty of the musical world. If I remember correctly, my first musical was Grease 2, and my first favorite musical song is the Glee version of On My Own. I still didn’t understand much of the musical world then, but I had the rough idea of it and loved how smart the lyrics are arranged in musicals. Then, I watched the original Grease, and as great as the movie is and as catchy as the songs were, I think that was a wrong step to learn more about the musical world, since the only moral story I could get from the musical is how you have to change yourself to attract the charming man of your dreams. It was probably a lot more than that, but do forgive an amateur for the lack of interpretation skills. I remember I was also quite obsessed with West Side Story, especially with America. Oh, and Chicago’s Cell Block Tango.

Those few tries were fun and all, despite me not understanding much of what was going on, but what really pulled me into this passionate, tear jerking world is the brilliant production of Les Miserables. To be honest, I didn’t understand much of the movie on my first try, since I was busy trying to figure out the whole story in between the constant singing and understanding the old language (as English is not my first language). I remembered watching it and thinking when the singing will end. It didn’t, and Lord knows how patient I had to be during Valjean’s Soliloquy. I think I didn’t really have that much interest to the movie until ‘At the End of the Day’ number, and big names such as Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, and Helena Bonham Carter were probably a good idea for an amateur like me to stick with the whole movie. My second try on the movie was all about admiring Enjolras’, Gavroche’s, and Eponine’s character. My third try would be all about enjoying the numbers, and my next tries were all just because.

I began to see the clips of the 10th AC, the 25th AC, the West End Production, and started to truly compare actors of the same character, to see who was born to play those certain characters, such as Samantha Banks or Lea Salonga as Eponine. I read blogs and forums on who played the best Enjolras, and hear every version I could find of ‘Drink With Me’ to drown myself in the E/R feels. This obsession opened up a whole new world to me, and I couldn’t believe I spent 14 years missing out on the beauty of how you can interpret one thing beyond your usual logic to something deep that surprises even yourself. I started to google more about certain musicals such as Hairspray, Mamma Mia, and Wicked, though I’m still not ready to watch new ones in fear of being disappointed. But this obsession really made me put theater into my bucket list. I have to go to either New York or London for Broadway or West End. I have to witness the beauty of stage acting and I have to witness how passionate stage actors are when they are on stage, letting their whole emotion bare for the audience to see. I have to be there and see for myself how different actors interpret their characters and embrace their own choices and see where it leads them.

And so New York or London it is. It’s either 16161.84 km or 11704.94 km journey that I have to make, and I will already have witnessed at least one musical show in 10 years from now. In 2025, I’ll go back and see this post and get my lazy ass going if I’m still in Indonesia at that time. I will. I sure as hell will.

To new dreams, here’s to us, and here I come.

A Dream We Lived Under

Because our ego make us forget that others around us fight their own battle that we have no knowledge of.

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