If someone ask me why I’m a Muslim in the first place, my answer would be pretty simple.

It’s just that I simply don’t know how it feels like to not be a Muslim.

My life is pretty simple, you see. If God says no alcohol, then I don’t taste alcohol. If He warns me against adultery, then I’ll avoid it at all cost. If He tells me to cover my skin, then that’s exactly what I’ll do. My dos and don’ts list are pretty simple that way, and so I don’t really understand why it’s hard for some people to see.

But then I suppose it’s the other way round, in which people don’t know how to not be the way they are as well.

You see, there are times when I just want to cry my eyes out and curl while listening to Cold Play’s The Scientist.  Nobody said it was easy, is pretty much how I can define being a Muslim. Now before any of you jump into conclusion and think I feel oppressed, then please just cut the crap. I don’t feel oppressed. You know what make things hard? It’s the judgmental and small minded environment. If I go to a good Islamic school, I probably won’t feel this way at all. But alas, I am where I am, and it’s always so heart-breaking to see young Muslim not care one bit about God.

Maybe if they were given the choice, they’d choose not to embrace Islam at all.

This is the part where it all comes down to a conclusion, and that is I desperately need someone who can convince me to just ignore them and be proud of who I am with my religion. I am the person that I am today because of my religion, and maybe it doesn’t make me the coolest person at school, but at least it makes me me.

Don’t take me wrong, I am a proud Muslim. But I’m sure you all know it’s not the easiest thing in life to obey a being that you can’t see. I guess I’m waiting for my prince charming to make me see and embrace the beauty of Islam. If there’s one thing I’m really looking for from a husband (besides his faith and religious activity), it is most definitely a leader figure. A leader that I follow not because I have to, but because I want to. A leader that can guide me straight to His grace. A leader who can see that I am struggling and makes it his personal mission to make me believe I am making the right choices.

And I can imagine him, sitting right across the room, singing as best as he can,

if you let me
I can help you out
with all of that

let me love you
I know your trouble
don’t be afraid
oh, I can help

And everything will be okay again after that.

So hey, said leader. Your damsel in distress awaits. Do get here quick, it’s a pretty rough life out here.