Save Your Breath, You Never Care
i don’t know, nor I care
it’s just a bunch of what the hell
let them be, for they’re lost
minds alike and heart of frost
for they’ve wronged what’s in this world
wait, I know, what’s the word?
ah, yes, worthless is what I’ll use
for every chance they’ve abused
chance of what, you may ask
chance to lift the sinful mask
empty faces all around
show me somewhere safe and sound
but, oh no, wait, is there such place?
we’re stuck here in this giant maze
‘what happened?’,’what the hell?’
save your breath, you never care
The first and the third chorus is good.
But maybe it’ll need a little finishing touch in the second chorus.
The last is well made.
Keep the distance between those frontalities so they can work on making a better line.
P.S : The first and second line soundd like a song for me.
Thank you for your criticism, I try my best with what I can. Actually, the whole idea of the poem was made out of this quote that I found which gave me the inspiration for the first and second line. The rest was written to adjust with those first opening lines. Thank you for the review!